If Only
by DemonAngel17
Summary: If only he had had the guts to tell her how he felt.


IF ONLY

**Another one shot**

Written:Friday, February 04, 2011 3:13:40 PM

_YOU NEVER LOSE BY LOVING. YOU ALWAYS LOSE BY HOLDING BACK._

___-Barbara De Angelis_

_'thoughts'_

_"talking"_

'She's beautiful.' was the only coherent thought going through his head. Her smile, which sparkled beneath two twinkling blue eyes, was electric and made people who recieved it, especially guy people, feel very special. Hojo would never forget that first time he saw her. Her name was Kagome Higurashi.

What really got him was the fact that she really cared about people and was an extremly talented listener. Her wise words were always exactly what you needed to hear and her sense of humor could brighten your entire day wether you were upset or not. Not only was she admired but she was also genuinely respected by everyone, male or female. Add to that, her physical beauty was astounding. Long black-blue hair that went to her shoulders, light skin, pink plump lips, and long black lashes framed those bright blue eyes. Oh those eyes. Small built, but with curves in all the right places, and long tone legs that seemed to go on forever. And with everything in the world to be conceited about, she was extremely humble. Yet it was her invisible beauty I shall always remeber.

Needless to say, Kagome was every guys dream. Especially mine. I got to walk her to class once a day when she wasn't too sick to attend school. I also tried to take her the best remedies I could get my hands on and took class notes extra carefully so she could borrow them when she had need of them. His best memory was when he once got to eat lunch with her all by himself. I felt on top of the world that day, and was dissappointed that her three friends rejoined us the following day.

I would think to myself, 'If only I could have a girlfriend like Kagome Higurashi, I'd never even look at another female.' But I figured that someone this outstanding was probably dating someone far better than myself. Even though I was president of the student body, I just knew I didn't stand a ghost of a chance. Especially when her friends spoke of how she had a possessive, two-timing, jerk of a boyfriend. That had given him some hope, tha maybe he could win her over, only for said hope to be smashe when they met the guy and changed their view of him. And they said the guy was the most handsome man they had met. That and Kagome's little brother idolized the guy.

So as happy as he was that they ended up getting into the same high school and talk of her boyfriend ceased, he never made a move. He continued as usual. Walking her to class, joining her and her friends for lunch sometimes, and helped her with her studies now that she was healthy and always came to school. It continued the same for four years. Even after the rumors about her possesive boyfriend stopped he still though he wasn't good enough. 'How could I ever compete with him?'

So at graduation, Hojo said farewell to his first big crush.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ONE YEAR LATER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Hmm, I just need to buy my mothers birthday present and I can leave this shopping center and go home.' Hojo had been looking for the perfect gift for his mother to make up for being gone for a whole year. He stopped walking thinking he heard his name being called.

"Hojo!" he turned around towards the sound of his name.

"Yuka?"

"Hey Hojo, long time no see. I haven't seen you since graduation. How have you been?"

"I'm doing good, I just got into town. I'm taking the summer off so I could come home to visit my parents. How about you?"

"Oh, I have been good. Working mostly, took a year off from school but I'll be going to university this fall."

"Oh thats good." He couldn't take it anymore, he had to ask. "So, have you kept in touch with anyone, like Higurashi perhaps?"

"Kagome? Oh yeah, I hear from her once in a while. She moved with some relatives to America after she got a scholarship to attend University overthere."

"She moved to America? Why so far? What about that boyfriend she had been seeing for years?"

"Oh she was never really with him. It was a big misunderstanding. She actaully liked you, but eventually she got over you." Yuka stated calmly.

"What are you talking about?"

"You were really cruel to her the way you lead her on, always walking her to class and making her think you were interested. Do you rememeber the time you had lunch alone with her? Well, she stayed by the phone all weekend. She was sure you were going to call and ask her out."

With that said they said their goodbyes and parted ways. Hojo's mind reeling. 'I was afraid fo rejection. I never risked letting her know how I felt. What if I had asked her out and she'd said no? What's the worst thing that could have happened? I wouldn't have had a date with her. Well in any case I didn't have a date with her anyhow! What makes it worse is that I probably could have.


End file.
